I was looking out of my bedroom window, at the rabbit in the garden, when in the house opposite i noticed a girl in her underwear, briefly. Perhaps less than 2 seconds. But it caught my eye and then she vanished. I had been feeling down, although i was starting to feel calmer, this changed my emotions slightly, perhaps provoked a slight arousal. Then i noticed my next door neighbour gardening, planting seeds in a pot, I noticed anothr neighbour also gardening. Seeing these people made me feel a bit happier. Then i noticed a bird flying.

It's interesting really. Perhaps that i was slightly attracted to the image of this partially naked body of what seemed to be an attractive women, showed me that i am attracted to women and not just my girlfriend. So that she also, is able to be attracted to other women and men and I shouldn't have a problem with this. Of course, if she was to act upon this attraction then i may call the relationship into question as i problem wouldn't feel happy about it. But looking at it from another point of view, perhaps i coul;d turn the vision of this anger and hatred at betreyal into visions of a fantasy. Would it be wrong to imagine me, her and another girl in bed together? surely not, i'm human after all. But my point is, if something like this did happen and she had lied and hurt me, i could change the direction of the relationship into some kind of sexual fantasy rather than trying to grasp control of her when it clearly wasn't possible in the first place.

Of course this is all fantasy and not reality, but it seems to make sense, and perhaps that could be applied in that situation or other situations.

I have little control of my emotions, so when a bad emotion tkes control of me, counteract it with asnother strong emotion. Of course it doesn't solve the problem altogether but it may be some relief.

I keep looking at the rabbit, almost obsessivaly, and when i see it's lying down my mind at first, for a split second immediatly jumps to the conclusion that it's dead, been eaten by the cat that always seems to come into the garden.
It's interesting really, i see the worst case scenario quite often.

Once as a child, i went into my mum and dad's bedroom, they were under a blanket with my dad on top of my mother, i left and went back to bed, worrying that he might have been killing her, listening for any sign that she is still alive. They were having sex i would imagine, now i'm older, but at the time I didn't have any idea what was happening.