What is Trust? I don't know. I really don't know. Trusting someone for me is when i feel completely content that they can't possibly be lying and nothing can possibly be wrong at all. But it's almost impossible for this to always be the case, even though i search for it. I'm suspicious of everything, either looking at potential lies in the past, right now or in the future. I'm always seeking and searching for the knowledge that everything is O.K.

The problem is always in me, the child that dictates my mind, changes my emotions when it feels like it, searches for what it never found in my childhood. i'm sick of it, it's a horrible way to live and feel. Maybe i shouldn't bother trying, I just don't know.

I'm so suspicious, maybe i have some reason to be, but i take it to the extreme, I keep considering investigation, searching to find the truth. Perhaps there is no truth, I just don't know.  This isn't how i should be living.

ummmmmmmm